"The Little Barbershop of Horrors"

The title of this peom is a tribute to the Itchy and Scratchy episode that Bart and Lisa come up with in the episode "The Front."

Blissfully asleep, peacefully adream,
interrupted by an infernal scream.
"My son shall not sport ragamuffin hair!"
Exclaims my dad as his are rare.

Ambling on to the barber shop yonder,
reluctant as I was, I began to ponder,
alteast that pack will be easier to bath,
what scared me was the barber's wrath!

Seats you on his swivelling chair,
sprays his stuff on your darling hair,
combs them and makes them stay,
to make you look like you were gay.

As he proceeds, he surely quips,
"Rarer have become, to me, your trips?"
I thought with a smile of the slightest trace,
"The answer is staring right at your face."

Snip snap snip! Gone is your mane,
lionface to plucked chicken's base you wane.
Dettol washed wounds, burning red,
scars from a battle between razor and head.
Some consolation its the local shop,
and not beauty saloon who at a hat's drop,
will demand what I have spent all my life,
on keeping with my barber, this necessary strife.